So you can be happy
by Hellsleprechaun
Summary: Damon is miserable, all he wants is a way to ease his pain. He begins to self harm as a release until Stefan walks in and sees what's going on, how far will Stefan go to help his brother? No slash just brotherly love.


**When I saw one of the pictures for 3x15, I got the wrong idea about what was going on and this was my idea about what would happen and what the results would be.**

**I haven't seen 3x14, although I've seen 3x15 so I have an idea about what happened but don't know exactly.**

**I do not own the vampire diaries, it belongs to L.J Smith and the CW.**

Damon stood in his bedroom with a drink in his hand and a pained scowl upon his face, looking into the light.

He chocked slightly as he smelt his flesh burning, that was the worst part of this, the only part he could not enjoy- the smell. It was sickening.

With a sharp gasp, he pushed his gaudy ring back onto his finger and sighed as he felt his skin begin to repair itself.

He both hated and appreciated that part. Hated it because the physical agony that distracted him from his emotional pain could not last for long, but he appreciated the convenience of it. If he healed he could hide this secret from everyone. The last thing he needed was for anybody to find out about this, they'd all worry and get mad, which would cause him to get mad and… well, long story short, it would end badly.

One of the other down sides to his release was his clothes, while he never stayed in the sun long enough to actually ignite, his clothes were smothered with an unpleasant smell of smoke and charred skin.

Stefan had not noticed this, although he was usually quite observant when it came to things Damon did not want him to know about. Damon did not blame Stefan for not noticing, he was the one who did all the laundry in the house as he was doubtful that Stefan could even tell him the location of the washing machine in their house, let alone how to use it.

He quickly removed his sweat pants and t-shirt and headed for the shower.

Stefan climbed out of bed reluctantly and squinted at the blaring light pouring in from his window, it was an irritatingly sunny day, he decided petulantly.

He tiredly dragged himself towards his bathroom and turned on the expensive shower, he stepped under the head and quickly yelped and threw himself out again, so he was standing on the tiled floor of his bathroom, dripping freezing water everywhere. Obviously Damon was currently in the shower and using up all the hot water.

_It's going to be one of those days… _The vampire thought to himself grimly.

He flopped back down onto his unmade bed and sprawled out, he supposed he had no choice but to wait for his vain brother to finish his no doubt ludicrously long shower.

While under the heavy flow of the water, Damon's mind drifted to her- Elena, he thought of her harsh words a few nights ago. He had told her he loved her, he had told her before but this felt different. Last time he told her he had been dying and he thought it would be his only chance to confess his true feelings, although she, and everybody else, already knew. But at the ball they had both been conscious and fully alive, or as fully alive as he could be anyway.

Her words stung, no worse than that- they cut, not one deep wound but nasty little nicks, that would not stop bleeding.

_I love you_

_That's the problem._

He winced at the mere memory.

Ugh! She was so frustrating, he would do anything for her, give her anything she ever asked for, his life even, but it was never enough. It would never be enough. He had to accept that, he had accepted that., he tried to insist.

_Haha! Yeah right, you're never going to accept that. You're going to spend the rest of her, and probably your life, pining after her, and she will always choose Stefan. She said so herself. You're just too pathetic to deal with it, like a kicked dog, you just keep crawling back to your master._

He growled in frustration, he recognised the truth of the words, she would always choose Stefan, everyone always did, their father, Katherine, Elena.

And he could not even bring himself to hate Stefan for it, not properly at least. No matter how much he tormented his little brother, no matter how often he proclaimed that he hated him and wanted him dead, he knew that he cared about Stefan, whether he was a brooding martyr, or a dick when he was in ripper mode.

He was beginning to think that the few seconds of torture he had inflicted on himself this morning would not be enough to calm his inner turmoil.

This was the reason this had started, he had to keep himself from raking over his wounds, his emotional ones at least. He did not want to keep going over the disaster that was his love for Elena, or his relationship with his brother, in his head. It hurt too much, he was confident that if he still could, he would flip the switch and shut all of this out.

He wished that Rose was here, she would understand, she always had, she would know the right thing to say.

He punched the wall of the shower as he felt the first tear forming in his eye. Ignoring the broken pieces of tile littering the floor of the shower, he breathed deeply and concentrated on the pain in his now bleeding knuckles, it was better than the grief for his friend.

After forty minutes of waiting for Damon to be done in the shower, Stefan got up from the bed with a groan, what the hell was Damon doing in there?

He was not a clean freak like his brother, but still, he preferred not to wander the streets of Mystic Falls, smelling of sweat, blood and alcohol.

He threw some pants on and sped into Damon's room, he did not knock, Damon never offered him that courtesy so why should he? He pondered, as he casually walked into his brother's ridiculously neat bedroom.

He looked at the room and sighed, asides from the few books on the bedside table, it was difficult to tell that somebody actually lived here, unlike his room which was filled with objects and heirlooms from each decade he'd lived, which were neither use nor ornament anymore.

As he breathed in he noticed an odd smell, what was that? He grimaced.

The most potent of the scents in the room was the familiar smell of his brother but there was another smell, not a very agreeable one.

It smelled like…burning.

_Please do not let Damon have cremated anyone in here._ He thought silently, his brother had some… unconventional ways of killing people, but he was not, under any circumstances, helping his brother dispose of a burned corpse.

As his gaze swept through the room once again, he saw that there was a pile of clothes on the floor. These seemed to be the cause of the stench.

His theory seemed more and more likely, there was a strong temptation to just leave, whatever was going on he most likely did not want to know.

_But he's my brother _he sighed once. That was true, whatever Damon had done, he was still his brother and if he needed his help he was going to give it, he always did.

He walked slowly towards the discarded garments heaped messily on the floor, he reached down and picked the black t-shirt up and sniffed it warily, he recoiled slightly these clothes were indeed the source of the smell permeating the room.

With some shock he realised that the shirt in his hand belonged to his brother.

_What the hell?_

He smelled the top again, pressing it against his face this time, despite the overpowering aroma of burnt skin, he knew Damon's scent.

What was Damon doing? The clothes were not burned themselves, so Damon had not accidentally set them on fire, or anything bizarre like that.

_Maybe he was standing next to something that was one fire._ He reasoned.

_What, in his pyjamas? _Okay, that was a stupid idea.

He was trying to think of more possible scenarios which included a logical explanation for the state of Damon's clothes.

As he was failing at doing this, he heard the shower stop running and his brother step out of it, he was about to call out to Damon and demand to know what was going on, but then he heard a strange sound, familiar but one he could not quite place.

Sizzling almost, it was only when he heard Damon emit a small sound of pain that he headed towards the door. As he wrenched the thick door open he was hit by the nauseating burning smell.

His eyes widened in horror, Damon was standing in front of the window, he was wearing a towel but his chest was exposed, as the light streamed in and scorched his skin.

"Stefan, what the hell…?" Damon yelled furiously.

Stefan ran forward and slammed his brother against the wall viciously, he pushed Damon's ring back onto his finger then backed away from him and stared at him as though he did not recognise him.

Damon watched for a few seconds, as a range of different emotions flickered through Stefan's eyes: first up was shock, followed quickly by hurt, then lastly came wrath.

He turned around and stormed quietly out of the room, Damon felt as though he had been punched in the gut. Stefan was disgusted with him, of course he was, he knew how weak and pitiable he was, obviously his little brother was repulsed by him.

He wanted more than anything to go back to bed and curl up there with a drink, in the hope that this whole situation would blow over.

But he could not do that, he was not sure what Stefan was going to do, his brother was normally calm and stoic, but he was unstable right now, and Damon was not sure he had ever seen his brother this mad at him.

He threw on a pair of black jeans and a designer t-shirt, he raced after Stefan and found him in the living room, throwing back glass after glass of bourbon.

"Come on Stef, I know you're surprised but that does not give you the right to guzzle _my _favourite drink." He attempted to lighten the atmosphere and swiped the bottle from Stefan's grasp, taking a deep swig himself.

"Really not the time to be making jokes, Damon." He muttered, not even looking at his brother.

"Let's be honest, Stefan, you rarely feel any time is the time to joke, at least when you're the ripper you have a sense of humour." He quipped.

Stefan raised his head and met Damon's blue eyes with his green ones, tears fell from them in streams, and Stefan's lip was trembling slightly.

"Stefan-" Damon started.

"Don't!" He was cut off by his brother, half of him was relieved, he had no idea where he was going to go from there anyway.

"W…what the hell?…Why…Why would you do this to yourself?" Stefan asked, his loud voice cracking, if he noticed he did not care.

"Oh you know why Stefan, to ease the unending agony of my eternal life, to try and end the guilt of my tragic existence." He mocked dramatically.

"Shut up Damon! Just shut up!" Stefan yelled, his eyes blazing.

This was new, Damon considered, usually he was the one yelling at Stefan and Stefan was the reasonable one.

Stefan wiped his eyes, quickly, even though it was too late for Damon not to notice that he was crying. It was a wasted effort, as soon as he dried his eyes, more tears flowed from them. He had never seen Damon this way, he had never thought of him this way. He always considered Damon to be strong and enduring and permanent, he was not supposed to break.

Damon took pity on his brother and tried to comfort him, "it's okay, little brother, it's not a big deal. You don't need to worry about this." Damon assured him. He had never wanted Stefan to find out about this, Stefan had enough problems of his own without having to deal with his too.

Stefan stared at him incredulously, "are you kidding me? I don't need to worry about this? I've just found out that you're taking your ring of and habitually burning yourself, what else am I supposed to do?"

Damon's gaze softened slightly, "I'm not going to kill myself, Stefan. You're supposed to let me worry about myself."

"Oh, okay, so it's not my responsibility to take care of you, or worry about you?" Stefan asked with a tiny, but dangerous edge of hysteria in his tone.

"No," Damon answered carefully, watching Stefan through narrowed eyes.

"Alright then!" Stefan replied with an odd chocked laugh.

Before Damon could stop him, he had pulled his ring from his finger, flung it onto the carpeted floor and walked into the rays of sunlight shining in through the window.

He clenched his teeth together to keep his noises of suffering, firmly inside himself.

"Well, Damon if what you do to yourself isn't my problem, then what I do to myself isn't your problem, I guess."

"Stop it, Stefan." Damon commanded sternly, glaring at his brother in a way that had always caused him to obey Damon as a child.

Stefan just laughed and continued to allow his skin to darken and peel away as it burned.

Damon shoved him out of the light furiously, causing Stefan to land on his backside in the safety of the shadows, Damon moved at his full vampire speed and chucked Stefan's heavy ring at him.

"Put it back on." Damon ordered, his volume level but his expression threatening.

"No, I don't think I will. Anyway, Damon, you don't need to worry about this." Stefan quoted back at him.

He gritted his teeth in rage, that was not what he meant and Stefan knew it.

"Do not use that." He warned.

"Well, if I don't need to worry about you, then you don't need to worry about me." Stefan taunted, with a slightly crazy grin.

"That was completely different and you know it."

"How is that even slightly different?" His brother asked argumentatively.

"Because…" he paused as he searched for an explanation that was not simply because I said so. "Because I'm the older brother. It's my responsibility to take care of my stupid, blood addicted, martyr little brother." He replied forcefully.

Stefan raised an eyebrow at him.

"You're the younger brother, you're supposed to shut up and do what I tell you." How Damon wished that was true, it would save him a lot of trouble.

"When have I ever done that?"

Damon just looked at him, he had run out of arguments.

Stefan continued, "so what you're saying is that I should just let you do whatever you want, no matter what the consequences to yourself, but do whatever you say and not do the same?"

"Yes! Stefan that is exactly what I am saying." Damon shouted, why could Stefan not get that through his ridiculously hard head.

"No. No way." Stefan said calmly. He dodged the glaring sunlight and retrieved his ring, slipping it on as he walked past Damon without acknowledging him and carried on towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Damon demanded.

"I have stuff to do, stuff that doesn't involve you." Stefan replied coldly, before walking out of the house and shutting the door behind him with a note of finality.

Damon stared after him for a few seconds before cracking. His face contorted with both fury and grief.

The former at both himself and Stefan, himself for being dumb enough to do this while his little brother was in the house, and Stefan for not being able to mind his own business. The latter because Stefan was not going to forgive him for this, and he was not going to leave it alone, Damon was going to either have to carry on with what he was doing, and cause his brother pain or stop what he was doing and not be able to control his owninner pain.

Either way he hurt Stefan, the one person he'd spent nearly his whole life trying to shield from suffering.

He drank deeply straight from the bottle, pouring himself a glass felt like too much effort, he sank down onto the sofa and buried his face in his hands.

Stefan wandered down their driveway at human pace in a daze, he did not feel the cold, he did not feel the rain, and he did not feel the stones beneath his bare feet.

It took him until he reached the shortcut though the forest to realise that he was wearing neither shoes nor a shirt. He paused for a few seconds, before deciding that he could reach his destination without either, he would just avoid the public. Not because he cared what any of them thought but he did not want to be slowed down by shallow people and their idiotic questions.

He knew what he had to do, he did not like it, not a even a tiny bit, but he would do it for Damon, if that's what it took for his older brother to be happy then he would do it.

Alaric answered the door in an irritated fluster, whoever was there had been ringing the bell insistently despite his many calls of _I'm coming!_

He was about to begin chastising whoever it was for their rudeness but his words died as he saw Stefan standing on his porch, shoeless, with bleeding feet and no shirt, looking all together dishevelled.

"Stefan, what's going on? Are you okay?" He glanced around outside, searching for any visible threat.

It took Stefan a long moment to reply, as though Alaric's words were only just coming through to him.

"Oh, yeah. I'm…Everything's fine, Rick, you don't need to worry." He muttered dazedly.

Alaric held the door open wider and gestured for the young vampire to come in, Stefan walked in slowly, beyond noticing that he was smearing the clean wooden floor with blood from his healing feet.

"Elena's upstairs if you're looking for her." Alaric prompted, hoping the younger ,and usually more sensible, Salvatore would explain what the hell was going on.

He did not. Instead he nodded once and began to walk slowly and almost unnervingly quietly up the stairs.

Alaric was concerned, he had known the Salvatore brothers for about a year and in that time he had seen them both upset but… this was different.

He pulled his phone from his pocket and dialled Damon's number.

He did not answer on the first attempt, or the second, third time lucky an agitated Damon answered his cell.

"What Rick? Most people would take the hint, I'm kind of busy." Damon snapped.

"Have you seen Stefan today?"

Damon was instantly on edge. "Why? Has a dismembered body been found somewhere?" He joked, although he knew that his brother had not touched a drop of human blood in days.

"No, he's here at the house. He turned up without a shirt or shoes, bleeding and he's acting like he's stoned, which I'm almost positive he's not."

"He's not, or he better not be."

"What's going on, Damon?" He asked his friend, tired of beating around the bush.

"It's not a big deal, it was just a stupid fight. Stefan overreacted and then stormed out. It's nothing to worry about, he's just having a tantrum." Damon informed Alaric in a scathing tone. He felt a slight guilt for blaming Stefan but it was the better alternative to telling the truth.

"Oh right, and I'm sure you were completely blameless in the whole situation?" Rick teased.

"Well, maybe not." Damon responded with a surprising sincerity. "Well, it was nice chatting, but I have to go, TV to watch, whiskey to drink." With that the older Salvatore brother hung up.

Rick chuckled in exasperated amusement, sometimes he wondered why he bothered telling Damon things.

Elena was brushing her long dark hair gently, when she gasped in shock as she saw her boyf- her ex-boyfriend, she corrected herself, standing behind her in the mirror.

She turned slowly, what did Stefan want? A small part of her hoped that he was here to confess his love and devotion, as he had done so many times before and that he would be the old Stefan again.

She was not that naïve, she ignored that part of herself.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, not unkindly.

"I need to talk to you, please, it's important."

"Is it to do with why you aren't wearing a shirt?"

She smiled slightly as he appeared a little embarrassed, and looked more like himself. "Don't worry about it, you can borrow one of Jeremy's." She offered.

He nodded once in thanks and disappeared from the room.

When he returned a couple of minutes later she was sitting on the bed, she gazed at him expectantly.

"I'm leaving town," he announced.

She was not sure what she had expected, but it was not that.

"I care about you Elena, I swear that's the truth, but I'm going to go. It's best for everybody, you included probably, if I'm not here." He saw the expression of indignation on her face. "I'm not saying that I get to make decisions about what's best for you, I know you can do that yourself. You're not the only reason I'm leaving."

She nodded in acceptance.

"I wanted to thank you, for not giving up on me, I didn't deserve it, but you're a good person, don't lose that, and promise me that you won't settle for someone who's not good enough for you." He smiled softly at her.

She couldn't hold back her smile, "Stefan one of my best friends is a witch, the other is a vampire and my step-father/ friend/ uncle is a vampire hunter with a lot of dangerous weapons and fighting moves, trust me, even if I was going to do that, I'm not sure I'd be able to."

He laughed too, it felt good, to laugh with Elena again, he'd missed that.

"I know I have no right to do this but… I wanted to ask you for a favour. Could you maybe be there for Damon, after I leave, I think he needs somebody right now."

"What if he needs you?" She questioned, she was aware that Damon loved her but she also knew he loved his brother. She was not sure how Stefan leaving was going to help Damon in any way.

"Trust me, he doesn't. He needs you. I know, that the two of you argued the other night, but he loves you and even if not in the same way, I know you love him too."

"Okay, but Stefan, I really don't think what you're doing is a good idea." She implored him to see that he was making the wrong decision.

He smiled and disappeared from the room, she frowned, she really hated it when he did that.

"Oh finally! The prodigal brother returns!" Damon called out as Stefan entered the house.

Stefan's eyes flickered over Damon briefly, trying to see if there was any further damage that his brother had inflicted on himself.

"For god's sake Stefan, relax. I'm okay, so you can stop wandering around half naked and freaking Rick out."

Stefan made no reply, he was in a hurry, he would not put it past Elena to come to the house to try and talk him out of his choice.

He threw all the clothes he liked and could fit into his small bag and yanked on a pair of boots, he then thumped down the stairs loudly.

Damon's wide eyes took in the bag tightly grasped in his brother's hand.

"Where do you think you're going?" He demanded. It did not matter, he considered, wherever it was, Stefan would not be going.

"I'm leaving Damon." He informed him and endeavoured to sound casual, but Damon could hear that underneath his composure he was miserable.

"I don't think so." Damon contradicted and stood in his brother's way, when Stefan dodged to the side, he moved with him, blocking his path to the door.

"Well fortunately I don't give a crap what you think, brother." Stefan forced himself to be cruel to Damon, although he did not want to be. He wanted to comfort Damon, to try and make everything alright, the way Damon had always done for him, even if Damon went about it in his own way. But he could not, this was the right thing to do, he reassured himself. If he left Mystic Falls, then Damon could be with Elena, the two of them could have a life together.

That would happen much easier without him here to get in their way.

Just as he was about to shove his brother and force him out of his way, the door swung open and Elena stepped into the boarding house.

She took in the positions in which the brothers were standing in, facing each other, fists clenched, jaws locked stubbornly.

"I told you this wasn't a good idea." She told Stefan without a trace of smugness.

"What the hell's happening here?" Damon demanded his already huge levels of frustration growing.

"I could ask the same thing." Elena pointed out.

Their gazes both swivelled to Stefan, who coughed awkwardly, this was not how this was meant to go.

When he made no reply, Elena spoke. "Stefan's planning on leaving and-"

"Really, no shit Sherlock." Damon interrupted her.

She glared at him for a second before continuing.

"And he asked me to come here and see you, he thought you might need somebody." She was still confused, unlike Damon who now saw his brother's ridiculous plan.

"Oh my God Stefan, for a smart person you are such an idiot!" He said with amazement.

"What?" Elena cried, this was fast becoming a very annoying day. All she wanted was for somebody to tell her what was going on.

"Stefan decided to leave town in the hopes that you and me would get together for a few shirtless hugs and live happily ever after." Damon spoke quietly, deep in thought.

"I just wanted you to be happy, both of you." Stefan insisted, the dropped his gaze. "Damon, I can't stand knowing that it's my fault you're so unhappy, I… I couldn't live with having driven my brother to… _that_."

"Stefan, "Damon started, but was cut off for the second time that day.

"Please, Damon, just let me go, you can…you can have the life you wanted." Stefan met Damon's eyes, and he was completely sincere, Damon saw. All his little brother wanted was for him to be happy.

He suddenly didn't care that Elena was in the room or that he was admitting this out loud for the first time, "my ideas of a perfect life always included you being here too."

"Okay then, I'll stay. But I'm still not going to go back to Elena, you need her." Stefan was resolute.

"She loves you Stefan, she wants _you_."

Stefan opened his mouth to reply, when he was interrupted.

"Excuse me? Are you two serious? If anyone decides who Elena gets to be with, I think it should be me, and I've decided. I'm not going to be with either of you."

They both started at her, their expressions stunned.

"I care about you both, but Katherine already tore you apart once, I'm not going to be responsible for doing it a second time."

Neither brother said anything, what was there to say? She had made up her mind.

"I'm going to go now because it seems like you two have a lot to…deal with, talk about, fight about, I don't know. Just please don't kill each other." She begged, only half joking.

The brothers were alone now, sitting in the living room, both unsure about what to say.

Damon began. "I can't believe you were going to do that." He shook his head in disbelief and almost laughed.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time", Stefan defended himself.

"It seemed like a good idea to try and cheer me up by leaving town and deciding that Elena and me would automatically become a couple." Damon made sure Stefan knew just from his tone how farcical he found this idea.

"I'm sorry about the way I treated you today, I was just …surprised." Stefan put it mildly.

"Well yeah, I'd be …surprised too if I found you doing that."

"Ha! If you found me …doing that, then you'd kick my ass."

"Damn straight." He nodded.

"I always thought that you were the strong one. You're my older brother, I've always, I suppose selfishly, expected you to be…okay. When mother died, you were only ten but you told me, you looked after me and comforted me. I'm sorry that I never.."

"It's alright, I never expected you to find out. I didn't want you to. You already spend half your life feeling guilty, don't add this to the pile too."

"So are you saying that if it were me that you wouldn't feel at all guilty about not noticing."

Damon made no reply.

"I want to help you." Stefan blurted out, breaking the silence that had descended.

"By doing what?" Damon asked dubiously.

"Anything. What do want me to do?"

Damon was shocked at how young Stefan seemed, like he was a child again, and he was begging Damon to let him help.

Damon felt himself soften towards Stefan in a way he did not normally allow unless Stefan was injured or unconscious.

He stood from his spot on the sofa and walked towards where Stefan sat opposite him, he enveloped the still sitting Stefan in a tight hug, crushing him to him.

"I want you to promise never to try and leave again for my sake or I'll kick the crap out of you." He told him with a slightly amused snort. ".In return, I promise I'll never do what I did this morning again."

Stefan loosened Damon's grip enough to look up at his brother, "Promise?"

Damon rolled his eyes, sometimes it seemed like Stefan was still a kid, but kid or not, he needed Damon right now and Damon needed him too. "Promise."

He pulled Stefan closer again and kissed his light brown hair.

He knew that this was not going to be easy, although Elena was not with his brother either, he still loved her, but he would not pursue her, he would not do that to Stefan. No matter how hard it was he would try to get through this and he knew having his brother by his side would help to ease some of the pain.

**The end.**

**The picture I saw was one of Damon taking his ring off, I though he might be self harming and decided that this would lead to Stefan finding out and having an emotional scene with Damon and then he and Elena breaking up for good for Damon's sake, but it turned out to be a bit anti-climatic, he was just washing his hands.**

**This is actually something I can maybe imagine Damon doing and I think Stefan would leave Elena for good if he thought his brother was doing this.**

**Please review.**


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